Archive for June, 2008

Seeds and Planting things

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

I was talking to a client today and the subject came up about planting things. She has had several opportunities present themselves to her in the past few days and is wrestling with what to do about them. None of them demand any action at this moment, they simply are there.

I call these the seeds. Or bulbs might is a better description.

Here is how this works. . .

You are given a box of bulbs. You know there are Irises, tulips, daffodils in there, but you aren’t sure which are which. So now you have to choose to plant something. Or not.

While you are thinking about it, these are just bulbs. let’s say that the boxes of bulbs represent a job. And let’s say it’s June. June is not generally the best time to plant bulbs. So you wait. While you are waiting you think about what kind of flowers you want, ie: tulips, Irises, etc. You go, you get books with photos or drawings of the different bulbs and compare. Some you reject out of hand, others you set aside as a definite maybe, others still you can’t decide on. During this process, what you are doing is clarifying your optoins and feeling towards this ‘job’.

Realistically, at this point, while you have expended some energy, you have not committed to anything. Because you haven’t planted the bulbs. At this point all you have done is research. Part of this research include a look into variable. Because you may have sorted through and decided that you would like a patch of Irises, but you have a preference for blue Irises, and you have no idea if the bulbs you have are blue, yellow or white. You may have decided that you dislike tulips, but you have had a difficult time sorting some of the tulip bulbs from the daffodils. The question which i would as is this: if a red tulip showed up in your daffodil patch , what attachment to the outcome do you have? What are your expectations?

In some schools of Coaching, this is called managing expectations. One program which I am fond of talks to us about engaging in negative future fantasy. When we finally decide to plant those bulbs (or not) one of the things which we use a fertilizer is our expectations, projections and negative future fantasy. If we believe that if we plant the bulbs and we will expect Irises and get tulips. chances are, that’s what will happen! And if that doesn’t happen, what are the chances that we are pleasantly surprised or even give ourselves credit for a job well done? Expectations, projections and negative future fantasy can talk you out of a potentially good experience or taint it so that you are unable or unwilling to fully commit and engage in the activities because you have bought into the mistaken ideas and judgments which may or may not hold up under close scrutiny. Once you are clear on this, it makes choosing to plant those bulbs much easier.

So, what seeds are you thinking about planting.

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman

What are we holding onto?

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008


What are we holding onto which no longer serves us? this is a question which has come up to me recently. You see, I have given away my old powerbook.

Okay, I understand that letting go of the 15 year old Mac Powerbook 180, with the grey scale screen sounds like a no brainer, but there is so much more to it than that. This was my first computer. It was also a gift from my former Beau when he upgraded to a G3 Pismo. And that is where the attachment lies.

I have recently been working on letting go of what was a very emotional, connected relationship which lasted, in some form or another, 15 years. while we didn’t date for the entirety of that period, we kept coming back to see if the fire was still hot. Last April, I finally saw that, no matter how much I loved and cared about this man, it didn’t make any difference and that a relationship with him was never going to get me any closer to my goals or fulfill my agenda. So I let him go.

What I learned is that I can still love him, but that it is okay to move forward without him in my life. That I have learned the lesson which I was supposed to learn from him and it was time to let go.

Which brings me back to the Powerbook. . .

My son and I both have iBooks. Although at one point this year I was writing first drafts on the Powerbook, it was clumsy and transferring the material from on computer to another was difficult and things did get lost in translation. So why was I holding onto the Powerbook? Because we needed a spare computer? because there was personal information on it still? because it was funky, cool and retro? All great reasons, but honestly looking at the situation, I knew that I was holding onto the Powerbook because it had come from John. And for no other reason. And it – and the relationship – no longer serve me. So I cleaned off the hard drive, boxed it up and took it to the Goodwill, where I know that they will clean the drive and, if not be able to sell it, use it to train people who are trying to have a better life. I can feel good about my decision.

How do I feel right now? A little sad. Part of my past which I had invested great love into is gone – and I am not talking about the Powerbook. But that’s alright. Now it is time to grow and move into something which is better for me and will mhelp me fulfill my goals and my agenda.

What are you holding onto which no longer serves you?

Things to think about.

Until next time.


Welcome to my Blog

Monday, June 9th, 2008

Welcome to the wonderful world of what goes on in my head! I will try to keep on topic – Executive Coaching, Anger Management and Transformational thought, but if I go off into strange tangents every once in a while, please understand! Life is like that. the important thing is how we get back to our agenda

Hello world!

Monday, June 9th, 2008

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