Archive for August, 2009

Just a little Coquette

Friday, August 21st, 2009

Today I had a disappointment. Something which I have been working on for the last two years looks as though it will be put on hold for the finish. I spent sometime looking at it from different directions, finding the lessons, the ways of looking at it which oculd bring forth change and personal growth and expansion, and when I was settled about what was not in my control and the fact that, although I am psychic, I can’t see everything, I took some action which helped me to see more clearly: I went shopping.

Now before anyone raises an eyebrow, I didn’t buy anything, but I went an indulged my love of colour, texture and style. I walked through the department store, looking at this and that when it suddenly hit me: I have been denying myself so much in my life because I felt that it wasn’t “appropriate” or “not at this time”. In reality, most of it was Une Coquette. Or a little bit of nothing.

Let me give you an example: I have this amazing red overnight bag. It’s cut like an old doctors medical bag and is made out of red deep leather which has been embossed like crocodile skin. It’s so sumptuous. I have wanted a matching brief case and handbag for almost as long as i have owned the bag. What has stopped me from buying them has really been the voice which has gone through my head saying, this is not the right time, you already have a perfectly good case (not really. couldn’t carry computer and the note books I needed,) Black is so much more versatile (true, but the cost was the same.) and on it went. Standing there in the store, looking at a fabo red purse which matched perfectly, all I could think of was, in the long run, does it matter? The purse, the brief case, the bag were all in good taste. The fact that they were red croc was just a coquette. A little nothing.

While I stand by what I have written previously regarding how to dress and present yourself at work, I also see what could be called style points. There was a set of luggage which was very 1960’s Puchi-esque. Loved it! Would love to have an entire set of it. And yet I have, in the past, felt that that would be self indulgent. Get the black or navy blue, they will hold up longer.

But what is wrong with having some fun? What do I get out of toeing the line and remaining conservative? (Okay, those who know me can stop laughing now.) What do I get from not indulging in une coquette every once in a while?

There is a Universal rule that if all we look at is lack, if we continue to hold back because of fear of not getting more, what we draw to ourselves will shrink in proportion to our worry. As the late Rev. Ike used to say,

“Never say, “I can’t hold any money” or “money is slow.” Money will hear you and stay away from you. Instead, here are the words that I want you to use. Turn your thinking and your speaking around and say, “Money loves me.””

And part of the Universal lesson of money is to spend it and to give it away. And to every once in a while indulge in a little coquette.

Now, as a Coach, I tell my clients, and myself, that sometimes it is okay to simply indulge. Let go of the worries and just enjoy. As long as the amount is not prohibitive or will put you in financial distress, it is not a bad thing to do. It is also a great lesson in letting go. Let go of the fear, let go of the expectation that spending what is relatively a small amount of money will cause financial chaos, let go of the judgments, the history, the patterns from the past which keep you from moving forward and in worry.

So indulge yourself every once in a while. Does not have to be terribly extravagant. A manicure, listening to your favorite piece of music with the phone turned off. But something which is une coquette. What will you indulge in?

Pardon me, I am off to indulge.

Something to think about.

Until next time.


Argue your limitations and they are yours

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

I have started to work with a client of a friend of mine. My friend is currently overwhelmed with life and asked for a little help. I agreed to speak with this woman and see what could be done.

After having several conversations with her, it suddenly occurred to me that this woman spends a lot of time arguing her limitations. She has read every self help book she can get her hands on, she knows the language, the ways and means of how this is done on a mental level, and yet she still will tell me why her agenda can’t be met. And when you point that out to her, she will deny it. Because she doesn’t see it as being true.

Language is a very powerful thing. It reinforces our experience, it can also undermine our agendas.

Several years ago a friend of mine was trying to go back to school and work full time. Her boss was notorious for keeping her late which meant that she would be late for class at the City College down the street. I suggested that she switch to UCLA Evening Extension which started later. She said that the University wouldn’t accept the credits. I told her that it didn’t make sense that the University wouldn’t accept credits from their own program, especially if she was getting high marks. When she would have continued to argue, I invited her to contact someone in UCLA’s student advising office and see what they said.

About a week later I received a phone call. I was right. It’s a slightly back door way of getting in, but if managed correctly, it was completely doable.

Obviously, once that limitation was removed, there were others which came forward, but eventually, she stopped looking at her limitations and started looking at the possibilities. And she graduates soon.

Argue your limitations and they are yours. What could you achieve if you started arguing your possibilities?

Things to think about.

Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman