Archive for October, 2009

And sometimes life makes you do what you wanted to all along. . .

Saturday, October 17th, 2009


You know, I am a Coach. That is what my business card says. It’s what my website will tell you. And what all the workshops, etc., I have attended, books I have read, yada, yada, yada have spelled out in no uncertain terms say. And they should know, right? Some days I am not so sure, personally.

But today has been one of those days where I have had several examples of how very much I AM a Coach and, not to sound immodest, how good at being a Coach I am.

I have been kvetching over the last few months about how much I miss Coaching and having an active practice. And who was I kidding any way, you get the drift. Well, someone much have heard me because suddenly while i am not getting paying clients, I am getting people who are definitely looking for direction and, well, Coaching.

Yesterday a friend of mine popped up on line. In one of our earlier conversations, I had mentioned that I was reinventing my relationship with money. When he came on line he asked me how I was doing this.

As I started to explain what I was doing – looking at my past relationship, noticing patterns of pleanty and scarcity, my reactions, etc., he said, WAIT! Why am I feeling as though there is something mystical here and my logical brain just isn’t getting it? Please, de-mystify this for me!!!!!

I laughed. Here is a secret and I ask that you keep it between you and me as the concept does tend to scare Executives. . .There is definitely a mystical part to Coaching. We just don’t talk about it because in most cases people are very nervous about things which they feel they cannot quantify. And when they are paying you a large sum of money, they want solid, measurable eveidence.. Which is the purpose of assessments. But that is another blog.

He and I talked about one of the possible genesis’s of his beliefs about money, and his relationship to money. He felt that that in and of itself was a huge shift in perspective. He wanted to think about it.

My response was, while you are thinking about it, here is an assignment. Write this phrase every day for 30 days. Note how you are feelings, and responses in your body, etc. when you write it. No right or wrong, just notice. Then let me know what happens.

He agreed. We’ll see what happens.

Next, I received an e-mail from a classmate. She has decided that she wants to start a Spiritual Coaching practice. Now, I am thrilled when people tell me they want to become a Coach. Thomas Leonard of Coachville suggested that we would need more new Coaches than we could train over the next 20 years. While i am not sure that this is accurate, I do believe that there is a need for well qualified Coaches.

But after I said, welcome aboard, I gave her some basic advice: get your Coaches training, complete any certifications you have left to complete, and become very clear about the services you are offering to the public. What do you do? I gave her an example of what I do in my practice:

I help the Executives to lead fuller, more balanced lives. Through assessments, proactive conversations, and a clear agenda created by the client with my assistance, a plan of action which include all four areas of their lives, I help them to:

Improve communication
Reduce stress
Improve relationships
Manage Anger (where applicable.)

What was she offering her clients? That was her assignment.

(I also pointed her in the direction of getting such mundane things as a business license, insurance, and a good accountant.)

Suddenly I looked around and realized, I was Coaching! Holy Hannah, how did that happen?

Then it hit me. This is what I have been asking for. And Life ws giving me opportunities to show that I know what I am doing. That I love what I have chosen to do. And that I am very, very good at it. Which is a totally stunning idea to me!

Now to it’s my turn to look at my resistances. Believe it or not, I think this might just be fun!

Your assignment: make what ever you are resisting be fun!

Things to think about. Until next time.


Getting a Day Job

Friday, October 9th, 2009

One of my friends called me today and told me that he was thinking about getting a day job. Cool, says I. So what is going on?

Turns out, he is concerned that he is selling out.

My friend is a consultant. He as been doing consulting for the past 18 months or so and has been working really hard on developing his business. He has laid out a plan, worked through the issues as they came up, changed patterns which had, in the past caused earlier plans to be derailed. He has a decent client base, not yet a full practice, but he isn’t quiet where he wants to be, yet.

So he is thinking of getting a day job.

Now, I have no concerns about this. It is one option in many, as far as I can see. My friend is concerned that he will get the job and 1) neglect his continued development as a consultant, and 2) discover that it was the wrong choice and that he is be miserable.

I reminded him of an old maxim of Coaching: there is no wrong or right, simply decisions which don’t support your agenda. And if you recognize this, then you have the opportunity to simply make a different choice.

I then suggested that he do the following exercise: make a list of the pros and cons of both continuing to work as a consultant and getting a day job. Then do a side by side comparison. See which resonates more fully with him. Carefully weigh the benefits and the downsides. And also think about what his perfect day job would be and how long he wants to be in it? (This last is worrisome for employers, but it is a fair question. )

I learned things from our conversation as well. I learned that I, too, would like a day job. Because like my friend, I don’t enjoy certain aspects of being an Entrepreneur. I don’t enjoy going out and getting clients. I don’t like not knowing if there is going to be a steady stream of money. It’s nice to have someone else looking after things such as retirement funds and benefits. This is in part why I have been chasing Virgin for the last several months to start an in house program!

By the same token, continuing to consult, rebuild my Coaching business gives me (and my friend if he should choose to do so) a certain amount of freedom. What? I don’t want to work on my book today. I’ll work on my blog! Oh, look, a new video camera! Let’s put together a multi media presentation for the website! ARGH! I hate my website! let’s take it down and redo it! (And so on. . . ) Aside from our clients, we don’t have anyone to answer to and, because most Coaching and a lot of consulting, is done on the phone, we can literally call in from anywhere we can get a phone line from!

But what is most important? How do you choose to measure security against that freedom? What is more important to you at this time. Also, remember that things shift. Today it may be a good time for him to get a day job which will financially support him and protect him while he continues to hone his skills and to build his parachute. So that when he does take the jump, he is in a better position and if he falls, it’s not so far!

I also suggested that he breathe and stop borrowing trouble. Negative Future Fantasy will get you no where in the long run. Although sometimes it is a good exercise to see how far out on a limb you can go with it. Generally you discover very quickly how silly it all is. But it then helps to be able to put things in perspective!

I left my friend with the assignment to make his lists. And to take a few minutes to see what was a legitimate concern and what was simply his projection. And finally, how would his overall agenda be best served in both the short and the long run. Then make a decision.

Things to think about. Until next time.