Archive for October, 2010

You wore what? or how being too narrow in your wardrobe is as bad as being too wild

Friday, October 29th, 2010

Hello!

Today I was at Barnes and Noble book sellers. Love that store. I could move in and, as long as there was a cafe, never leave! But I digress.

I came across the book No She Didn’t by Clinton Kelly who is the host of What not to Wear. Now I have never seen WNtW, so I cannot make any comments on Mr. Kelly’s normal views, but I found to book both amusing and insightful. And I actually agreed with many of the opinions he put forth.

I agree with your tailor is your best friend, no valor track suits. In fact, no track suits outside the gym environment most of the time, find other shoes besides your cross trainers. (I walk a lot, so I am often out in yoga pants, sweat shirts and sneakers. But there are alternatives for running errands, etc. which simply look classier.)

Now there are also places where I disagree. Mr. Kelly suggests that you not wear a lot of matching clothing, to the extent that your shoes should not match your suit. This is a point of contention I have had many times with stylists. If your goal is to look longer and leaner, dress monochromatically. Shoes, skirt (or trousers) and top or Jacket should match. Any accessories should highlight and draw attention to the wearers face. Because we want the attention to be on our faces and what we are trying to communicate, yes? Not our snazzy shoes.

Colour is also a place where he and I diverge. Well, somewhat. Mr. Kelly is obsessed with neutrals. Black, navy, grey, khaki and brown. All great colours for the base of your wardrobe, and I agree with him that 50% of your wardrobe should be in this colour range in order to have things to build on. But let’s face it. This is BORING!!!! And, unless you are working for IBM in the ’70’s, you will look like every other person in the company.

Now, if that is your goal, so be it. But we know from my past blogs, that I encourage people to find someway in which to individual. Now, I am not talking about dying your hair pink. But if you want to occasionally wear something which is a little bit less subdued than the neutrals, feel free. Of course, I have 5 professional suits or dresses in deep blue based red. You know the colour. The one favored by Yves St. Laurent and Christian Dior? That would be the colour!

Another issue we disagree on is vintage fashions. I agree with Mr. Kelly that you Vintage can be overdone. But if you have a fabo collection of vintage clothing which is appropriate for the work environment (or where ever you may be wearing it), by all means wear it with good judgment. There are several Celebrities right now who wear a lot of vintage. They look gorgeous. But keep in mind, the rules of making sure it’s clean, in good repair and fits properly are even more important with vintage clothing. And update the look with modern touches.

One of the things which I do have to say about style Guru’s – in fact Guru’s of any kind – take what they say with a grain of salt. Myself included. Because most of us are writing for the masses, and there are always exceptions, and because we are also writing via our own filters. So Mr. Kelly, who has a vastly different backgrounds and focus than I do, while he may give some similar advice, will also differ greatly in other areas. (He suggests women not wear long skirts for day to day activities. Wear trousers. Obviously, he has never worn long skirts. Which I happen too love for multiple reasons. Different experiences, different points of view and different advise.)

And finally, while your first priority should always be that it is your work and your personality which is the thing that people remember, being a snazzy dresser with an amazing sense of your own style will help you to be remembered and stand out from the herd. So don’t be afraid to wear that fantastic broach or the amazing shoes as appropriate. It will also keep you from feeling like another droid on the assembly line. Which will help you with your attitude and make you want to be at work. Let’s face it, if you don’t want to get dressed to go to work because you dislike your clothes, you start your day grumpy. And it is generally all down hill from there.

So, how might it benefit you to reconnect with the classics, and where would it help to break to mold?

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

30 day Challenge days 14, 15, 16, 17

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

Hello!

Okay, I am a little behind on updating my blog on my challenge. Everything is going fine. I am exercising, drinking lots of water, finding new ways of doing things with my practice. I have started to work on updating my website and advertising and promoting my Coaching.

There have been bumps. Always are. Some of it comes in the form of my resistance to sitting down and blogging about my experience. I understand that this is pretty normal. In the Intention Experiment, one of the authors found that around day 18, most people find themselves reverting to old behaviors and patterns. The challenge at that point is to have support to press forward and break through. This is easier if done with the help of someone to support you.

In my case, I called a friend who is also a Coach. “I don’t want to write!!!!!”

“Why? What is going on?”

“No idea. The thought of writing about this is just irritating.”

“Well, what does it get you if you don’t write?”

“Another reason to beat myself up.”

“Interesting.”

“Oh, don’t say that. I taught you that!”

“Okay, what does writing look like to you?

“Well, actually, I have written. Jsut not on this.”

“So the resistance is on this particular subject. What is that about?”

“I am concerned that I am putting out all of this energy and no one is reading!”

“I’m reading.”

“You don’t count!”

“*laughter* Ouch? Well, one way to guarantee that people won’t read is to not write.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine I’ll write. But I don’t promise to like it.”

So I am writing. Truth is, I enjoy writing. I have a couple of topics which have come forward which I will address in (near) future posts. But I needed to get this one written. Because it is only by acknowledging what makes me uncomfortable and being willing to look at it, process it and then take action that I will push through and overcome the resistance, the former wiring and misinterpretation of the truth. Or at least, the past understanding of it.

So, where do you allow your resistance to stand in your way? And what would happen if you changed just one?

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

Do you hear what I hear or Listening on multiple levels

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

Hello!

I have recently run into a phenomena which I find a little mind boggling. People who are so concerned about their sales pitch that they aren’t listening to what the potential client is saying. Which is interesting and got me thinking: how often does this happen and why?

Let me give you two examples.

Today I was walking into the grocery store. A woman was sitting at a table outside with information which had a heart on it. With in the heart was an emblem which I couldn’t make out clearly, but reminded me of the Heart Fund emblem which my mother used to volunteer for when I was growing up. (More info here on the American Heart Association.)

I approached the table and said to the woman, I have to tell you, many years ago, my Mother used to volunteer for the Heart Fund and raise money. I think it’s very cool.

The woman said to me, well, we aren’t raising money, and then proceeded to go into her pitch about the company she was working for which did heart scans.

Ah, my mistake. Which happens. Not a big deal. I took the literature and walked away.

But what struck me was that this woman, we’ll call her Denise, made no attempt to acknowledge what I had said or encourage me to engage with her. Had she said, The American Heart Association is a fabulous organization. their promotion of being heart smart and healthy is really amazing. We at, ___________, are also trying to help people to live healthier lives by making this produce available at an extreme discount. May I share the details with you?

The second example is a little less clear. There is a cute little Spanish style house for sale a couple of blocks from where I currently live. It’s priced as basically land value. Built in the 1920’s, by today’s standards it’s considered small and cramped, even with the addition. Sitting next door to it is a very modern two story home with all the extras. The Realtor and I were talking and he told me that the house next door was his biggest stumbling block because people really wanted that house.

Well,would finding out how much it would cost to build a similar house help? Could you use that as a selling point? Maybe focus on finding someone who is interested in building? Could you sell someone on that? He simply ignored me and went on to talk about how difficult the house was to show and sell and how the location was the biggest selling point.

In both cases, the speakers were focusing on what their script was and not hearing me, the potential client. And not only did they loose me as a potential client – not that I am really looking at the moment – but for most people, they would not recommend either person or the company they represent. Because neither person was listening or went out of their way to make the potential client – me – feel important.

Years ago, and I believe I have written about this before, there was a study done which talked about the reasons which clients did not return to a company. There were the usual ones: convenience, death, didn’t need the product anymore. But the overwhelming reason for a client to not return was the perceived indifference of someone in the company. Notice the qualifying word. Perceived. Not even actual indifference.

Now, here is the question, I asked myself: Do I do this and when do I do this? remembering that anything which bothers us is usually a reflection of our world view, and a potential violation of that world view, I chose to take a moment and look at what may be challenged here. What I found was not new territory for me. It was simply an old pattern which I have done a lot of work on where I felt that I hadn’t been heard. And where I hadn’t listened to myself and honoured myself in the past.

Then I took a moment and thought about where I do this in my daily life. And I fully admit that there are times when I do. Sometimes in conversations when we are rehashing the same material for the hundredth time, I stop listening. Or if I know that my audience isn’t listening anyway, or is so married to their position that it wouldn’t matter what I say, I simply fall back on the script. And finally, sometimes, although this is extremely rare, someone says something which is so challenging that to acknowledge it would get me so far away from my point that I would never get back to that point, so I go for the easy road.

Now, there are other reasons for people to choose this particular behavior. Defensiveness, lack of empathy, social awkwardness, simply being tired and not particularly caring about what the other person is feeling. But this gets into the question is what is the agenda and does this behavior support it? What is the speaker trying to achieve.

So here is an quick and easy assignment: for a day, observe yourself. Find something which in general irritates you when if happens. Then, observe yourself. Is this something which you do? Is there a pattern? What is your view of yourself and the world in connection to this pattern? And what might happen if you changed it?

Things to think about Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

30 day Challenge days 11, 12, 13

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

Hello!

Well, the last 3 days have been a mixed bag. While I have been on top of somethings, others have been a little less successful. I have been getting the sit ups done, the writing of the letters of intro for my Coaching Practice? Not so much. But other things have come forward.

I have an old injury in my lower back. There is a mild compression between my L4 & L5. And my right hip is slightly rotated forward. Realistically, neither of these conditions are that big a deal, simply annoying. Recently, my lower back has been in more pain than usual due to many different issues. Being me, I take care of the issues on all levels and now simply the obvious.

My first actions were, indeed the obvious. I got new shoes, I have started to sleep with a bolster under one knee, I work on sitting properly in my chair and I take a min to gently stretch every morning. While all these things have helped, I decided to take it a little deeper.

Now, I firmly believe that there is a mind / body / spirit connection to most disease and discomfort. I know I have spoken about this previously. I’ll go back through my older Blogs and check and see if I need to expand on this theme at some point. So I was still in pain and decided to THINK about what pattern might be triggering the physical response.

Interestingly enough, I found two things going on. One was a very distinct pattern, the other was a projection and a defensive push back. The pattern is something I do frequently and I really do know about it. I am always trying to figure things and people out. This in and of itself is not a bad thing. In fact, as a social scientist, it’s a god thing. Because it causes me to ask questions and to help my Clients to perhaps gain a wider perspective and world view which then helps them to shift into new ways of being.

But this becomes a stumbling block when I become truly stumped and cannot move into acceptance of a person as the are. Sometimes people simply are a certain way, and while it may or may not be a choice which *I* would make, it is what they have made and what works for them. Or doesn’t. but it is their choice and acceptance and respect is sometimes the best choice to make. With a couple of situations / people, I fully admit that I have sometimes had problems problems embracing that choice.

The projection is about self acceptance. And my having come to a place where I don’t put a lot of energy into what other people think of me or whether they “accept me” or not. But that was hard won. I have thought about it for a long time and came to the conclusion that most of my life I had felt as though I were “other” due to a great number of circumstances. And when I was younger, although I never went out of my way to try to fit in with any particular group, I was aware that other people didn’t “get” me and, therefore, sometimes would make fun of me or not be friendly. In extreme cases, there was bullying and shunning. (In light of the teen suicides currently being brought forward in the news, I can understand the dilemma which they faced.) There are a few people I know who are very caught up in being “accepted” by others, and I have found my self begin defensive about it.

What I have had to do with that one was to ask myself the question of, if I really didn’t care about what others think of me, why were their projections bothering me? Why wasn’t I deflecting? And simply accepting that this was their issue and had nothing to do with me?

The answer is: because I want them to respect me and not project their stuff onto me. I wanted them to “see” me and understand where I am coming from.

Funny thing when you realize things such as I did: I get to see where this plays out in my life or has in the past and I still have “stuff” in it. Now, the “stuff” may simply be recognizing that there is another layer to get through. It may be that there is more to the issue than simply looking at it from a different angle. It may be completely about having mastered the issue and feeling the need to drag the other person along with me, whether they are ready to or not! But my upset is not about THEM.

So today, I took myself and my annual pass to Disneyland! I met a friend there and hung out with her for about an hour, then went on a couple of rides and came home. And you know what? I made the conscience choice to not worry about any of the issues which were going on, not judge public transit for running – or not running – on time, the fact that the wedding which I was supposed to perform at tonight was canceled at the last minute, or anything else.

And yo know what? My back stopped hurting. I’ll set some bedtime intentions and see if I can heal this for the last time. Meanwhile. what does your pain represent? And what might happen if you choose to let it go?

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

30 day Challenge days 8, 9 & 10

Sunday, October 17th, 2010

Hello!

Wow! How times flies when you are focused on something. Over the last few days, during my challenge I have had a lot of things come forward which I hadn’t expected. Ideas, opinions, points f view which I either didn’t know I held or I thought I had worked through long ago. Boom! There they were again!

Now, this can be a little frustrating is I allow it to be. Because who wants to go over the same old territory again and again? There are newer and more beautiful roads to travel, yes?

Well, yes, but let’s face it, sometimes it is good and necessary to go down old familiar roads if only to see where we have been and i we can look at it from another perspective.

For some odd reason, this Challenge has brought up a lot of memories about my life in my late 20’s. If I chose to, it would be easy to fall into victimhood. And while there is still some upset connected to some of the things which happened, I have also been able to shift my focus and understanding, accept responsibility for my thoughts and actions with out judgment, and letting go.

I think the key here really is to choose to not judge myself or others. If I had known how to get through the situation differently or better, I would have, yes? Had I been able to see other choices, known that I had other, better, options I probably would have made them. Time and experience have given me both the knowledge to make better decisions and the ability to see patterns and choices more clearly. And hopefully the wisdom and tools to make more healthy, self affirming choices.

I have also learned how to discern when something is my responsibility and when it is someone elses. This has been a difficult and time intensive process. One of the lessons which I brought forward from childhood was that I was responsible for other peoples happiness. Only when everyone else is happy, could I be happy.

What a crazy idea! I laugh when I think about it. Because not only does agreeing to this mean that I could never allow myself to be happy, because there would always be someone in my life who wasn’t happy, but it’s pretty arrogant to believe that *I* had anything to do with anyone elses ability to be happy, or their happiness.

Now, granted, if I am doing things which cause others pain, then I have responsibility for my actions. But ultimately, everyone is responsible for their own happiness. And their choices of who they include in their life.

One of the things I discovered is that I have great compassion and even love for my son’s father. This is a shift, although it has been happening for a while. Is he someone who I want to have in my life again? No, because I know that he is not healthy and will not respect my boundaries. But that is about him, not me. I show respect for myself by not putting myself in a position where he can be disrespectful towards me. This is me being loving and compassionate with myself.

This is definitely not where I was expecting this 30 day Challenge to go. But as the Coaching model tells us over and over again, if you improve one area, others have to change and improve as well. What can I say, I am improving.

Where are you shifting? And in what other areas is it showing up?

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

Under Pressure or when do we get really honest with ourselves?

Sunday, October 17th, 2010

I normally don’t post links, but I saw this video and I felt compelled to share it and my thoughts because it brought forward something very powerful and clear to me, which I hope many will find relevant.

Under Pressure with Kermit

I saw this and laughed. Who doesn’t find Kermit the Frog entertaining. Combine him with Bowie, and you definitely have my attention! This is a song I heard as a teen and it has, like many other things, changed in what it means and has to say to me as I have grown older and seen more of life.

Watch the video and then come back. We’ll talk. . .

Okay, I have to say, I love the pacing which the puppeteer recognized within the music and was able to effectively use. He was able to capture the characters of both David and Freddie beautifully. What I found really relevant was how, as the tension built, the questions and energy of the Freddie Kermit shook until the stress sent him to the floor. Why, Why, Why? is the question he asks over and over again. It isn’t until that point, the point of collapse, that the second Kermit is able to get in and explain why. In the case of this song, the question is “Why can’t we give love one more chance?” Bowie’s answer is, because it’s an old fashioned ideal and to embrace it we would have to not only care for others, but change the way we care for ourselves. And that is where the conflict comes in and with it, the pressure.

But it isn’t until the pressure of the question why has gotten so high that Freddy will listen and see the truth.

I bring this up because I recently was reminded why I dislike most organized religions. If someone is working very hard to recognize that they are good and loving and to achieve success as well as building healthy relationships, being part of a religion or any philosophical group which is built on the premise that by simply being born someone is wrong and a sinner, and this is reiterated in the prayers, literature and foundational message is going to undermine any attempt to rewire your brain and step into simply being a loving, whole, healthy person. This adds to the pressure which we place upon ourselves because we a trying to support conflicting agendas. And most of us have found that this simply does not work. At some point the conflict will bring us to our knees, sometimes literally, some time metaphorically.

Eckart Tolle has said that original sin is really about the choice to be separate from God. There is another thought that from moment of our birth, we are seeking to be reunited with God. With love, if the word God is uncomfortable for you. And yet, most of us choose to buy into a belief which reinforces our separateness. Our being unlovable, unworthy.

(Note: I am not telling anyone to give up their religion or philosophical ideals. If you find value and comfort in it, by all means continue to embrace it. What I am suggesting is that if there is part of it which makes you uncomfortable, feel free to question until you get an answer which gives you the knowledge and freedom to choose.)

What do you think would happen if you gave up your separateness? Who might you become if you stepped into that place where you embodies the characteristics of being loving: peace, compassion, joy, empathy, grace? How would you treat yourself and others? How would your life be different? Who would you be? Can you picture it?

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

30 Day Challenge days 6 & 7 or a little bit of housekeeping

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

Hello!

Well, it has been a week already. So far, I seem to be right on track! I have hit resistance, dealt with some world views which aren’t really helping me any more and just some plain old fashioned laziness! So, it seems like a good time to do a little bit of house keeping.

Now, this isn’t that big of a deal if done on a regular basis. Much like the dishes or sweeping the floor, if you make a conscious choice and take care of it as it comes, or on a regular schedule, things tend to be manageable. It’s when you ignore them that challenges develop.

(Just for reference, when my son is home from school, I wash dishes in the morning, he puts them away when he gets up for the day. While some people would be uncomfortable with dirty dishes in the sink over night, it worked for us.)

One of the actions I chose to take over the last few days is to look at the scripts I have been playing in my head and re-evaluate if they are still working for me. And take time to ask myself what is going on that I am still holding on to any world views which are not helping me anymore.

I think I spoke about this in my last blog, so I am not going to bore you with it again. The difference is that over the last few days, I have become more aware when a script which is not working anymore is running and, with out any judgments, have been able to simply observe both what is going on in my head and in my body. And what happens when I start looking at other choices. Once again, not judging the reactions, etc. as good or bad, simply for what they are – reactions.

Now, one would think that, after years of doing this work, this would be easy. Sometimes, but not always. Because sometimes I get stuck. So what do you do when you get stuck? Believe it or not, take your eye off the ball. No, really! Because sometimes I know that I have worked something to the point where I cannot see the shift and I keep trying to make something work in a way which it didn’t before and doesn’t need to because a better way is just waiting for me to discover it!

Let me tell you a story. Several years ago I was visiting a friend in Herne Bay, England. Jan had made arrangements for me to stay at her friends flat right on the beach! It was very cool. Mandy’s flat was a walk up behind a locked door, and we could not, for the life of us, figure out how to unlock the door. Finally I said, let’s stop for a minute. We chit chatted over nothing and then tried again. We didn’t even have to turn the lock! It had been unlocked the entire time. But because we had been so focused on the door being locked, we never took that possibility into consideration. It wasn’t until we had shifted our focus for a few mins and then come back to the challenge that we were presented with a solution.

Granted, it isn’t always that easy. Sometimes you come back with more questions than answers. But many times, my experience is that if you are open to it, you will be able to look at what ever the challenge is with fresh eyes. And solutions will appear.

So where can you shift your focus? What just might appear?

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

30 day Challenge – days 4 & 5 RESISTANCE!!!!

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

Hello!

The last two days have been interesting ones for me. Not because I have discovered anything new or shocking. But because I have run into my own resistance to change. And this happened fast.

I knew that I would hit some resistance. This is normal and natural. By our nature, humans don’t like change. Even when the change is good for them. There is a reason we have, in the past, done things that way that we have and voluntarily changing them is NOT FUN!

Why not, you might ask.

The short answer is that we have become comfortable with our previous way of being, and even when we know that that way of being, that world view, is no longer serving us, we tend to cling to it because it is familiar.

The other answer is that we might have to admit that the way we have previously chosen to look at things is, well, wrong.

Let’s address the second, first. Just because sometimes I enjoy being contrary!

In the world of Coaching, there are very few things which are wrong or right. Patterns which we have developed over the years previous to our being Coached generally are simply accepted as being choices which we have made which, for the place and time which they were made, worked. That now, in the present, we have more information, have grown and changed, and the pattern / decision is no longer valid or no longer supports us with the direction which we are now choosing to go. It’s actually pretty easy. So, if we are willing to accept that the way we were is not a wrong or right thing, but simply a need to do it differently thing, letting go of that judgment, we are able to move forward with ease and grace.

The first reason for resistance is a little complicated. Because this is predicated on the idea that we (or in this case) have consciously made a decision to change a particular aspect of my life. And that aspect isn’t happy about it! Many groups call this the DEATH OF THE EGO. (Where is the echo sound effect when you need it.) Sounds scary yes? It’s not. This is simply a struggle between our very human need for security and our very human desire to evolve. Evolving can be very easy, or very painful, depending on your point of view and your chosen attitude at any given moment.

Lets me show you. Both yesterday and today I have fulfilled my commitment to my list. I have walked, exercised, drank plenty of water, journaled, looked into more ways of expanding my Coaching practice. Did I do this with ease and grace? No. Did I enjoy myself? You’re kidding, right? Did I find peace and serenity and a feeling of accomplishment having completed my list? WHAT?!?!?!? Someone get me a piece of cheese cake as a reward! I deserve it!

WAIT!!!!!! What is going on?

(I should let you know that many of the things on this list are what I worked on in on of my projects during my second year in my Masters program. So on those, I am amping them up. The fact that the resistance showed up this quickly in those ares should no be a surprise.)

When I sat and thought about this, my thought process went something like, what am I trying to achieve? What does it matter? Is anyone going to notice? Will it make a difference? Shouldn’t I be focusing on something which will have much more visible results? Did this work last time? Will anyone care?

It was that last one which really triggered me. I took a moment, stepped back, and looked at that and looked at the counter part: Do I care? And where is the conflict.

What I found was that the conflict is in a deep misbelief that it is somehow wrong to care for yourself. I think there are a lot of women out there, especially women who are mothers and women who are in their 40’s and older, who still buy into the idea which we were raised with that as women we needed to sacrifice and put our family and by extension, or world, before ourselves. That by focusing on the rest of the world, we were, in essence releasing our egos and were then “good” women. (I know men who also do this. But I believe that it is much more common among women.) I know that I was taught and my mother and grandmothers really modeled this principal for me. And it’s actually a little shocking to see that this script is still running in my life.

So what do I do? Well, first off, I choose to recognize that this belief is not true. Or it may be, but it is not the only way of being. And that I have choices in my way of looking at and interpreting this information. That I don’t need to make this past model – or the women who modeled it – wrong. Simply choose to understand and accept that that particular way of being and doing things no longer serves me and that it is time to find something which will serve me better. And move forward into that set of beliefs with ease and grace.

After that, it was time to look for some new motivators. What were some things I could choose in order to keep me focused. Well, both yesterday and today I was feeling very tired. So, in the spirit of self nurturing, I took a nap. When I woke up, I had an e-mail asking me to perform at a wedding in 10 days! Talk about a motivator! Not only does it keep me involved in the physical side, this also gets me engaged on both the creative areas and the intellectual. Not to mention, I get to practice good business principals including marketing, negotiations, time management, communications! How cool is that?

So, when you start to hit resistance, ask yourself, what is the resistance really about? What old scripts are running through your head? Is this showing up in your body? In your attitudes? What belief would benefit from being realigned? And are you willing to take the risk and do so?

Things to think about. Until net time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

30 day Challenge day 3 – processing

Sunday, October 10th, 2010

Okay, today was really about seeing what came forward. It was quiet, calm and peaceful. And the nice surprise was that I had several rather in depth conversations regarding Coaching and Anger Management. Which was very cool, as that was one of the areas which I felt slightly out of sync with.

These conversations have given me things to think about along with perspective. Including my being clear about what Coaching is and isn’t and what the publics perception and expectations of Coaching and Anger Management is. I am constantly astonished when someone asks me if I tell my clients how to behave!

I now am going to process these conversations and see what comes forward about usability of the information I have garnered through these conversations.

Meanwhile, some dance drills before bed time, me thinks.

So what is coming forward for you when you stop to listen to what you are saying. watch what you are doing? How can you use that to help you shift?

Things to Think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com

30 day challenge – day 2 creating a supportive enviornment

Saturday, October 9th, 2010

Hello!

So, to day has gone along pretty smoothly. I have accomplished most of what is on my list and know that I’ll be able to finish the rest before heading to bed. But I took a little bit of time and found some creative solutions to help me to keep on track.

Check list -

I created a real, physical check list. One for every day. As I take care of something, I physically cross it off the list. Mark Victor Hansen (I believe) suggested that instead of crossing it off, write VICTORY! beside the completed action. This helps to excite the brain and encourages us to complete more things! Endorphins are a good thing!

The second thing I have done is pulled one of my journals out of my files. When I have clients, one of the things I highly suggest they do is write 3 pages every day. This is not an original idea. I got it from The Artists Way who I am sure got it from some where else. In my practice, I simply suggest to my clients that they commit to writing 3 pages several times a week to help themselves to expand and record their thoughts and ideas. No further instructions or requirements than that. But for me, in this challenge, this is journaling, going over my list, getting things on paper to help me to see any patterns which are deveolping or changing. It is also a good place for me to keep my daily check list. Because I have found that when you marry two things, they are more likely to be accomplished.

Next is about water. How do we keep track of how much water we drink through out the day? We all know the rule of 8, 8 oz. glasses. But how much is that, really? I found a simple solution. I found a carafe which is 59 oz. A little short, but I can make up the difference easily. I fill the carafe in the morning, keep it in the refrigerator and refill it through out the day. If I drink water when I am away from home, I simply see that as part of making up the deficit from the 3 oz. difference. When I find plain old water boring, I add a little lemon or lime juice. Even cherrys at time.

(Many Spas have pitchers of delicous water through out their facilities. Burke Williams Cucumber Water is one of my favorites and making up a pitcher on a day when you plan on working out, is a great way to stay hydrated and make you water goals!)

And speaking of marrying things, iPods are great when I am walking and wanting to listen to my music at the same time. I do a lot of walking, so this part isn’t really difficult. In fact, when I choose to, I also meditate when I walk. Something I was taught many years ago. So this is a great way to knock off two things from my list at the same time. Of three, if it’s a long walk!

Today, I am feeling good overall about what I have accomplished. There is a little imbalance. I really need to look at my business tomorrow. But that actually works out well. The housekeeper comes in the AM, so I am going to the book store. It is my intention to do some research while I am there and perhaps get some workable ideas which I can implement directly into my practice without too many modifications.

So, what are ways you can create systems to support yourself in you own life? Where are old habits getting in the way? And are you willing to change them?

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman
www.nancieshumanexecutivecoach.com