I want a divorce! or looking at associated behaviors which no longer support you


So I am in the process about a diet. And no, I am not going to talk about dieting. We hear about this every day in the media. And while every once in a while I will choose to address this here, now is not one of those times.

What i do want to talk about is marriage. But not the type between two people, but between to associated behaviors and where one no longer supports your agenda.

Now, I love soup. i am a master soup maker. Have been for years. to me, if you have soup, you must have bread! And bread means butter. Preferably fresh and lightly salted. Then, maybe a little jam or apple butter, if it happens to be around.

Okay, see where this is going? Now, as vegetable soup tends to be a cornerstone of most of my diets, this can present a challenge for me! Because I will crave bread and butter. At least for a few days. Then, if I am able to make healthier choices, I am usually good with not having bread and butter for a while.

When I can’t stay away, most of the time II may as well simply have not started the diet to begin with.

This relationship of bread and soup obviously no linger support my current, new agenda.

This is not unusual. And it is one of the reasons many people fail at a goal which they have set for themselves. I know many a smoker who has tried to quit but has been unsuccessful because smoking and friends who smoke are so ingrained in their ways of being in the world that it isn’t simply a matter of no more cigarettes, but a totally new life style. Which many people are totally unprepared for.

Another example is an executive who wants to open better communication with his staff. But every time he gives feed back he praises with one breathe and then criticizes with the next. The staff feels as though they really aren’t achieving anything. And the executive continues to feel as though he is held at a distance.

Now, these shifts have the potential to shake our world. Because the two behaviors have become intertwined. And doing one without the other seems somehow incomplete.

So I challenge you, look at your patterns. Where do you have behaviors coupled up which are no longer compatible? What would happen if you uncoupled them?

Things to think about. Until next time.

Nancie Kay Shuman

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